Monday, September 17, 2012


its been so long, since the last time im writting in this blog....and a bit confused bout myself. first, y the heck that im posting in english. sorry im not good in english. its weird, and hard to tell. ..m..m..maybe jz like what harry potter feels when he had those bad dreams and he saw what voldemort want him to insane...erghh... im watching in study room, alone, with books on the table, and my phone playing "high" by james blunt...actually...i dont know where to start. i feel different than what i was a few days ago. bout last 2 weeks, i watched harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2. im a bit blur cause i watched harry potter since 1st, "the sorcerer's stone" until "goblet of fire"...then i missed the next episode and skipped to "deathly hallows part 1" and im lost the storyline. so, i take the all episodes of harry potter from my friends, transfer it into my laptop, wishing to watch it back from the 1st episode until the last.

    then last night, i watched the "goblet of fire", and i just done watching the 5th episode, "the order of phoenix" ... take time to understand the plot..and now, im possessed.... i feel like i am at hogwart...and and...i feel that im in that world...this thing keeps disturbing my mind. its not bad actually, it make me feels something that i never feel. i feel encourage...i feel independence...and....i feel like its only me who live in this world!...then i went to toilet, watching myself in the mirror, i take my "wudhuk" and perform "zohor" prayer...spend a few minutes in front of our Maker. I felt great!

   thats the first factor, maybe....the second is...when i was at home 2 days ago, online gaming...chatting wif my old friends....'facebook'ing... then i saw something, a pictures...where one of them is my friend, who sit right beside me in form5...they wearing labcoat...and, they will be a doctor someday...i started to question myself, what will i be someday...i woke up from my hopeless life...i want a better life...then i get the have a better future...

   one more thing, the song that keep repeating on my phone, i set them...honestly im not sure what the song is all about...i got it when i watch a movie, i dont remember but the song was played in background...i love the cheers me, and it so calm...maybe you guys should try to hear it, dont judge a song only by hearing them once...take time, listen to it again and again...

    maybe those things....make me feel different now...i..i...i dont know how to feel sad, how to cry...and i feel want to keep this feelings all over time, i hope this will help me to live my life i aim 4 flat for this semester...thats the spirit...haha...struggling for vocab, i dont know how to describe more bout my feelings...but i guess its enough for now...just to share something...and for sure, when i have free time, i will continue watching that harry potter...thanks for reading

life is short, enjoy the right way :)